That Cat Can Play

4 out of 5 Robot Overlords agree... more bass.

4 out of 5 Robot Overlords agree… more bass.

Today I thought I would share some humorous quotes about music.  I found these on a site called Grinning Planet.  Enjoy!

 

“A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.”

Frank Zappa

“Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.”

Voltaire

“It’s easy to play any musical instrument: all you have to do is touch the right key at the right time and the instrument will play itself.”

J.S. Bach

“I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the manmade sound never equaled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.”

Alfred Hitchcock

“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”

Quincy Jones

“I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.”

George Burns

“All music is folk music. I ain’t never heard no horse sing a song.”

Louis Armstrong

“The musician is perhaps the most modest of animals, but he is also the proudest. It is he who invented the sublime art of ruining poetry.”

Erik Satie

“Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.”

Steve Martin

It's not me, it's the action.

It’s not me, it’s the action.

“I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?”

Victor Borge

“I don’t know anything about music. In my line you don’t have to.”

Elvis Presley

“I’d love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I’d also like just one more hit single.”

Tiny Tim

“I stole everything I ever heard, but mostly I stole from the horns.”

Ella Fitzgerald

“Playing ‘Bop’ is like Scrabble with all the vowels missing.”

Duke Ellington

“We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency.”

Mark Twain

“I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down.’ “

Bob Newhart

“Country music is three chords and the truth.”

Harlan Howard

Bass man with his Bassman.

Bass man with his Bassman.

“Brass bands are all very well in their place—outdoors and several miles away.”

Sir Thomas Beecham

“Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.”

Kin Hubbard

“Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.”

Mark Twain

“There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.”

George Bernard Shaw

“Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.”

Igor Stravinsky

“Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.”

Gioacchino Antonio Rossini

“Last night at Carnegie Hall, Jack Benny played Mendelssohn. Mendelssohn lost.”

Harold C. Schonberg

That Yobogoya is not sitting right.

That’s the last time I grab dinner from a food truck. Yobogoya!

“A good composer is slowly discovered and a bad composer is slowly found out.”

Ernest Newman

“If anyone has conducted a Beethoven performance, and then doesn’t have to go to an osteopath, then there’s something wrong.”

Simon Rattle

“I once sent him a song and asked him to mark a cross wherever he thought it was faulty. Brahms returned it untouched, saying ‘I don’t want to make a cemetery of your compositions.’ “

Hugo Wolf

“I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws.”

Charles-Pierre Baudelaire

“I may not be a first-rate composer, but I am a first-class second-rate composer.”

Richard Strauss

“Beethoven’s last quartets were written by a deaf man and should only be listened to by a deaf man.”

Thomas Beecham

“I can’t listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.”

Woody Allen